Choosing a Confirmation Saint: Five Questions to Guide the Decision

Selecting a confirmation saint often feels like an overwhelming task, leading many to default to a handful of well-known figures or rely on internet searches without clear direction. Meg Hunter-Kilmer, author of several books on Catholic spirituality, argues that a more structured approach can help candidates find a spiritual companion whose witness resonates deeply. She proposes a series of specific questions to guide individuals through the selection process.

The first step involves examining personal interests and hobbies. Hunter-Kilmer notes that saints were three-dimensional people with diverse skills, not just monks and nuns in prayer. An athlete might look for saints who played sports, while a musician could seek out those who played instruments. She points to examples of scientist saints, homeschooling parents, and millennials who used the internet, suggesting that starting with shared passions can reveal deeper connections.

Personal circumstances also play a vital role in the decision. Many people find a strong resonance in saints who faced similar life situations, whether those experiences brought joy or struggle. This can include growing up in blended families, surviving assault, or having unmarried parents. For those facing challenges like mental illness, infertility, or addiction, Hunter-Kilmer suggests looking for a saint who endured similar trials. She emphasizes that anything significant to a person is significant to God, and a corresponding saint usually exists.

Vocation and career call constitute another key factor. Adults might choose a saint who worked in their specific profession, such as a medical professional or small business owner. For younger confirmandi who have not yet settled into a career path, Hunter-Kilmer advises focusing on the type of work they wish to do rather than a specific job title. This could involve fighting racism, serving refugees, or working in politics. This connection serves as a starting point for finding a saint who resonates on multiple levels.

Personal spiritual struggles, including specific sins or habits, should also inform the choice. Hunter-Kilmer encourages candidates to look beyond the surface of a saint's life and consider their internal battles. If a person struggles with anger but values justice, they might seek a saint driven by righteous anger. Conversely, someone might look to a saint known for mildness to imitate that trait. She notes that the brokenness of saints often provides the most inspiration, offering models for those who struggle with halfhearted faith or persistent vices.

General spiritual dryness and feelings of failure are common struggles that can be addressed by finding a saint who endured similar periods. Hunter-Kilmer points out that many saints experienced years of difficult, dry prayer or felt like failures despite their efforts. Finding a companion who faced these obstacles can help counter the doubt and frustration that makes perseverance in the Christian life challenging. Courageous saints are not the only option; those who struggled with fear also serve as relatable examples.

Finally, the narrative appeal of a saint's life can be a deciding factor. Candidates might look for stories of adventure, travel, or intrigue. Some may prefer a saint who stood up for themselves or fought for justice, while others might connect with a shy saint who found holiness in an ordinary life. Hunter-Kilmer suggests that sometimes the best approach is to explore various stories and see which one tugs at the heart.

Hunter-Kilmer addresses the common anxiety that a poor initial choice will define a person's spiritual life for decades. She acknowledges that many people later regret choosing a saint based on superficial reasons, such as a favorite singer's name or funny initials. However, she argues that the Holy Spirit can work through these choices. A saint chosen for a simple reason, like a love of music, might still become a model of gentleness or perseverance. She stresses that a confirmation saint is for life but is not the only saint one can have. Individuals can add new saints to their spiritual community throughout their lives, collecting those who challenge, inspire, and offer hope.